Married Life

Took kids out all day but he still wanted me to have sex, watch the kids scooter and he went to bed at 630

He gave me his last dollars to get extra drinks for myself

He bought new headphs but i couldnt get myself a milkshake

He watched tv without me but got mad when i did it

We took the girls riding but he was just negative the whole time

He calls us all feral and disrespectful and lazy but he does the same things

Sometimes he helps me get ready but other times he does something stupid like trying to get his account to approve an overdraw

He acts like i have to do something to deserve drinks etc

Brooklyn needed ear drops and i needed pads but he had already bought iced coffee

He constantly fights with brooklyn and makes her cry

When the kids cry he tells them to shut up


Dream Flood

pexels-photo-709542.jpegI dreamt that it was raining and i was driving with the kids in some random place. I wasnt totally sure of the right way to go. Brooklyn said we should stop for the night at a motel but i wanted to get home. We kept going but soon the road was flooded and there were crocs around the place. I asked for help but some guys just told me what to do in a complicated way. They expected me to just help myself and laughed. The girls were hungry but all we had were mustard, coffee and something else, all in the one sandwich. I still ate it and it wasnt too bad. We turned back and just made it back to the motel in time. I knew we would probably die and i felt scared and helpless. I started to cry as a rang simon to tell him what happened. Soon our motel room was flooded and we had to climb into the ceiling to get onto the roof. There were heaps of other people there and i was terrified as i realised that we didnt have much roof left before it would be covered by the flood. It stopped raining and i begged the sky not to rain anymore. It started to rain again and i felt like it was my fault. We realised that there was a higher section of the roof that only certain people got to go on and they would last longer. I tried to take my dog up there but him and half my family were put in a room of the motel, which was getting deeper under water all the time. It was a safe room for now but the people in it would eventually have to somehow try to make it up to the surface by swimming. A helicopter arrived to deliver yummy food to a few lucky people and i wondered why they didnt just save us instead. I looked around the higher section and saw a brain dead guy. I was tempted to turn his machines off to make room for other people from down below. I wondered if they had even let criminals up here, while innocent people were stuck below. I tried to talk to a lady but two lions jumped up beside me and scared me. Thats when i woke up.

Creativity, life, Mental Health, Nature


Death soon becomes us or so they say Beauty and passion are taken away
Turn away bleeding they banish your soul
No longer forgiven deception untold
Follow the streetlights to suffering and pain
Anguish stained teardrops will fade with the rain
Jealousy within us is coupled with hate
Forces of nature controlling our fate
Lonely souls beckon, the future so blind
Suffer the children because of our kind
No understanding of all that we’ve done
We’ll never bear witness to the beasts we’ve become
The shadows surround us like angels of death
Our heartbeats are fading with every breath
Now here in the silence we close our eyes tight
We’ll sleep til forever and follow the light
Our tears have all fallen, this sorrows our own
Another soul broken now we’re all alone
Awakening, Creativity, life, Mental Health, Nature

I Miss Being a Tree

The rain fell gently all over me, reminding me of the past. It felt cool on my dry faded skin. Then the sun came out from behind the clouds, drying me off. I felt the cold hard concrete holding me in place and a breeze gently passing me. All around me, others just like me, stood like cookie cutter statues all in a row. We all shared the same sadness and longing for home. A home we would never see again.

I tried not to think about my last day there but sometimes i could still hear the sound of the saw cutting through my body. Then that almighty crash as i fell to the ground, surrounded by my friends. I wondered if they had suffered a similar fate to me. I had reached out to those nearest to me when i felt the first blow. My life energy had surged from my roots and into theirs, passing along my strength to help them grow even stronger.

Now i could no longer feed from the earth that had surrounded my roots. I could never again soak up the rain or breathe in the air. My limbs had all been removed so i couldnt offer shade or a home for wildlife anymore. My bark had been stripped away, leaving my trunk exposed. I would no longer grow any closer to the sky. My only purpose now, was to serve as a place for things to be hung. A lifeless ghost of my former green glory. Never to bloom again.